I'm not a huge believer in the value of personality typing. Is it possible, I wonder, to define people by the Myers-Briggs typology?
We are tempted to have a neat categorization. That's one good reason supporting the axiom that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't.
Whatever group you are in, chances are pretty good that you, like me, will thoroughly enjoy reading The Four Tendencies by the bestselling self-help author Gretchen Rubin. I did. This book is about classifying people into four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. What Gretchen means by this is that any person can be classified by his or her response to outer expectations and inner expectations.
If you'd like to know the distinctions among the Tendencies, think about the lightbulb jokes that capture the framework.
How do you get an Upholder to change a lightbulb?
Answer: He's already changed it. (Upholder responds readily to both outer and inner expectations.)
How do you get a Questioner to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Why do we need that lightbulb anyway? (Questioner questions all expectations and responds to an expectation only if he believes it's justified.)
How do you get an Obliger to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Ask him to change it. (Obliger responds readily to outer expectations but struggles to meet inner ones.)
How do you get a Rebel to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Do it yourself. (Rebel resists all expectations, outer and inner alike.)
After I took the quiz to test my Tendency, I felt a sudden jolt. Whew. Looking back, I realize that I've been a Questioner. Questioners often refuse to follow an accepted practice. That's me. I meet an expectation only if I endorse it as efficient and reasonable in the first place. For instance, my family keeps reminding me to have breakfast, but I didn't think that's necessary.
I question even this very basic rule. "Do I have to have breakfast? Why shouldn't I be allowed to skip that?"
It may seem that I’m stubborn, but this is not the case. I am simply a Questioner who requires solid justifications. After exhaustive research, I'd been recently convinced the health value of breakfast. Since then, I have been having regular breakfast. Every morning.
If you'd like to know the distinctions among the Tendencies, think about the lightbulb jokes that capture the framework.
How do you get an Upholder to change a lightbulb?
Answer: He's already changed it. (Upholder responds readily to both outer and inner expectations.)
How do you get a Questioner to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Why do we need that lightbulb anyway? (Questioner questions all expectations and responds to an expectation only if he believes it's justified.)
How do you get an Obliger to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Ask him to change it. (Obliger responds readily to outer expectations but struggles to meet inner ones.)
How do you get a Rebel to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Do it yourself. (Rebel resists all expectations, outer and inner alike.)
After I took the quiz to test my Tendency, I felt a sudden jolt. Whew. Looking back, I realize that I've been a Questioner. Questioners often refuse to follow an accepted practice. That's me. I meet an expectation only if I endorse it as efficient and reasonable in the first place. For instance, my family keeps reminding me to have breakfast, but I didn't think that's necessary.
I question even this very basic rule. "Do I have to have breakfast? Why shouldn't I be allowed to skip that?"
It may seem that I’m stubborn, but this is not the case. I am simply a Questioner who requires solid justifications. After exhaustive research, I'd been recently convinced the health value of breakfast. Since then, I have been having regular breakfast. Every morning.
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