Balance

It's now definitely one of our favourite times of the year to make a fresh resolution. But there comes a question we're never quite prepared for - how to pick the right resolution.

While we wish it were otherwise, most of us don't know what yardstick to measure a successful life. One might a specific and measurable goal. A number. Focus on a number and make the number go up (say, money), or down (think body weight). That sounds simple and neat. I am not alone in this view. I bet you do, too.

After reading Eric Barker's book Barking Up the Wrong Tree, I felt as if my view has changed. Eric Barker added two interesting twists. First, we should avoid using a "collapsing strategy" - collapsing everything into one barometer of whether or not our life is on track. Take what happens to a guy who throws everything into one bucket, such as making more money. The more often we make money and the more money we make, the more happy we will be. That pretty much sounds logical. Well, not necessarily. We might then miss out another area of life, like the relationships with our family.

The second overarching message from Eric Barker on setting goal is to watch out the pitfall of so-called "sequencing strategy." An example of sequencing is First I'll work a job I hate and make a lot of money and then I'll have a family and then I'll do what I want and be happy. Unfortunately, as Eric Barker pointed out, life is just never that clear-cut. Try as you might, you can't sequence relationships. By the time problems arise in the relationships, it is too late. Sorry.