What is your secret birthday wish by the time you turn 44?
Mine: Rewind the calendar and travel back by one year.
An irrational response, but a common one.
As irrational as this is, it makes sense, and I won't go into detail as to how my wife felt when Jasmine said she wants her mom to deliver her baby when she becomes a mother herself.
From the very moment I set eyes on my daughter's black-and-white photo taken inside the womb until she goes to primary school this year, the clock starts ticking. It's the clock that times my hours with Jasmine, my experience of seeing her grow up, her need for my attention, protection, wisdom, and love. Our time is limited, I know.
I was told that all dads only have eighteen short years before our daughters are on their own. And that means I should make the best use of my time with her before I'm too old.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014
Copy
Like many authors, I wasn't paying much attention when the editor sent us an email about the online edition of the textbook that we had contributed.
I downloaded other chapters and mine because I simply wanted to keep a copy. So I followed the link, and within minutes, the full version is neatly archived. I didn't read the book. And the point - or certainly one of the main points - is to know that the information is somewhere out there for my easy access.
Next day, I received quite a few "reply all" mails debating whether authors should have free access to the book.
Their discussion intrigued me, and this cannot be an oversight. They must have tried the link, followed by the prompt to payment before access. On the contrary, I'm pretty sure I can download more than the table of content page. I had no idea why the other authors were denied access, though I knew they would welcome my sharing the copy.
I didn't distribute my soft copy, after receiving a gentle reminder hinting on legal restriction and copyright issues. My free access to the book chapters, I was told, comes from my institution library.
Looking back, the enthusiasm of the publisher to protect their copyright seems quizzical in a digital age. A few clicks could have inadvertently bypassed the ownership of publication, music, pictures and data.
Which brings me to the demise of photocopying stores. You'll be forgiven if you've never heard of photocopying stores. Return with me to the days of yesteryear - the 1980s, the decade of my studying high school. Every so often we wanted to buy a textbook and could not afford it. Then you could borrow the book and bring it to the photocopying stores. Place a order (say, how many copies to make), choose the colour of the cover and make the prepayment. Come back in one week and the double-sided copy is yours.
Copyright, oh, forget it.
That said, it's still much more cumbersome than a few clicks on the computer.
I downloaded other chapters and mine because I simply wanted to keep a copy. So I followed the link, and within minutes, the full version is neatly archived. I didn't read the book. And the point - or certainly one of the main points - is to know that the information is somewhere out there for my easy access.
Next day, I received quite a few "reply all" mails debating whether authors should have free access to the book.
Their discussion intrigued me, and this cannot be an oversight. They must have tried the link, followed by the prompt to payment before access. On the contrary, I'm pretty sure I can download more than the table of content page. I had no idea why the other authors were denied access, though I knew they would welcome my sharing the copy.
I didn't distribute my soft copy, after receiving a gentle reminder hinting on legal restriction and copyright issues. My free access to the book chapters, I was told, comes from my institution library.
Looking back, the enthusiasm of the publisher to protect their copyright seems quizzical in a digital age. A few clicks could have inadvertently bypassed the ownership of publication, music, pictures and data.
Which brings me to the demise of photocopying stores. You'll be forgiven if you've never heard of photocopying stores. Return with me to the days of yesteryear - the 1980s, the decade of my studying high school. Every so often we wanted to buy a textbook and could not afford it. Then you could borrow the book and bring it to the photocopying stores. Place a order (say, how many copies to make), choose the colour of the cover and make the prepayment. Come back in one week and the double-sided copy is yours.
Copyright, oh, forget it.
That said, it's still much more cumbersome than a few clicks on the computer.
Friday, September 5, 2014
But
Dale Carnegie once described the effective way to correct others' mistake this way: "call attention to people's mistakes indirectly."
One of the examples Dale Carnegie quoted in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People goes like this, "We're really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on you algebra, the results would have been better."
Yes, the opening with praise is superb. It's hard to think of a better way to catch Johnnie's attention. But wait: it didn't take long to hear the word "but' and Johnnie might then question the sincerity of the original praise.
What on earth does this mean? Here's a tool of thumb that Dale Carnegie suggests: change the word "but" to "and."
Still don't get it? See what Dale Carnegie suggested: "We're really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing he same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others."
His teaching is worth remembering, but it was not until we'd made the same mistake as Johnnie's parents that I understood what it meant. Two days ago, my wife talked to Jasmine after reading her school newsletter. "Jasmine, you did well in the class and I am impressed that you're paying attention."
Jasmine looked up at us, both eyes wide. "Is there a but, mum?"
One of the examples Dale Carnegie quoted in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People goes like this, "We're really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on you algebra, the results would have been better."
Yes, the opening with praise is superb. It's hard to think of a better way to catch Johnnie's attention. But wait: it didn't take long to hear the word "but' and Johnnie might then question the sincerity of the original praise.
What on earth does this mean? Here's a tool of thumb that Dale Carnegie suggests: change the word "but" to "and."
Still don't get it? See what Dale Carnegie suggested: "We're really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing he same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others."
His teaching is worth remembering, but it was not until we'd made the same mistake as Johnnie's parents that I understood what it meant. Two days ago, my wife talked to Jasmine after reading her school newsletter. "Jasmine, you did well in the class and I am impressed that you're paying attention."
Jasmine looked up at us, both eyes wide. "Is there a but, mum?"
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