End

With the End in Mind is one of the loveliest books I read near the end of the year.

For unknown reason the pattern of my reading follows an interesting flow: most of my recent ones are about the end of life, coinciding with the last few pages of the year calendar.

I just finished a heart-wrenching memoir of a young mother who died of colon cancer spreading everywhere in abdomen: The Unwinding of the Miracle.

It may seem odd that I set out to read those deathbed stories: a young drummer losing not just hair but her finger dexterity from the grueling leukaemia treatment, a couple who kept hiding the knowledge of terminal ovarian cancer from each other with both of them thinking that "I was the only one that knew." Yet those stories of patients in the last months of their lives have taught us to live better, as well as die better. That last bit is an important lesson for all.

Cookies

Our children are living in the culture of playing digital games, which is so foreign to my generation. My daughter is a better video game player than me. Chances are your kids beat you in the sandbox game of "Minecraft" too.

Oh, how I would look like a nerd fumbling with the controller when my daughter watches my game going awry. If only I could negotiate a truce. But playing video games with children is a necessary part of parenting, too, so that's what I do now and then.

And wait, there's more. I'm not saying that I kept disappointing my daughter in all sorts of digital game. It depends what type of game  you're talking about. Whenever my daughter is playing a word scramble puzzle game "Word Cookies," she loves to grab me and play together. The good news is that, these days, Jasmine still gets fascinated by this puzzle game. Which doesn't sound so difficult for a nerd daddy. In fact, both of us love testing our brains swiping the alphabet cookies on a baking pan to form as many words as we can.

I guess I have to stop here, and go to write a letter of gratitude to the designer of "Word Cookies."

Habits

There are two unspoken rules in my office. Both are weird, I know.

The first rule is I never have an al desko lunch.

W-w-w-w-what? You heard me. Actually, scarfing down quick lunch at our desk saves time, I have to admit. But, alas, eating is a social ritual. If time is running short, I'd rather skip lunch. If time is running just a bit tight, I prefer a run to the canteen and meet up my colleagues. It's also a good way to get ourselves out of the hamster wheel of nonstop work, according to Henry Steward, founder and "chief happiness officer" of the workplace consultancy.

The second rule: there is no landline phone in my office.

Once I'm clear on what the purpose of a telephone is, and how often the landline phone can serve my purpose, I told my secretary matter-of-factly not to install telephone for my office. No one seems more caught off guard by this rule than my secretary. She has never heard of a boss without office desktop phone. If you think that desktop phone can demarcate clearly when I'm reachable (translation: when I am sitting in my office), think twice. With the hectic bustle of clinic sessions and ward rounds, of various appointments and meetings, the chance for my butt to touch my office chair is as rare as finding an empty bed in my hospital.

Which is why, in the end, I decided to rely on and stick to a mobile phone - and forget the landline phone - lest I be fired for being never reachable.

Change

My daughter is starting middle school next year. Chances are, middle school is all about change - new school, new teachers, new friends.

Come to think of it, change isn't happening overnight. Day by day, instead.

But we know. We know the change, say, when my daughter's favorite songs are no longer "Let it Go." Before I can remember the songs of Taylor Swift, her hit songs are now those of Billie Eilish.

Another obvious change I can notice is the genre of library books I borrow for her. My daughter is moving to read teen's literature like Fish in a Tree. Which is why I am choosing less and less picture books. These changes take place in steps, and can always be to-and-fro. Oh. I still pick a bite-size picture book now and then, as long as it is funny and illuminating. The best recent example is Amy Krouse Rosenthal's Friendshape.

A phenomenal capture of friendship with simple words and illustration. The book fits everyone's definition of beautiful. It's so lovely to be read to and it's heaven to be read to by your own child.

Simple

Jogging along the Yangtze River, the Nanjing Olympic Sports Centre Stadium glinting in the sun, is what I believe to be one of the most uplifting experiences.

When I arrived at the conference venue, I mulled over the trail marked on the map and wanted to congratulate myself for bringing my sneakers. With that in mind, I checked the conference schedule and planned. I’d half expected myself to run wherever I travel, but alas, that didn’t happen this time. My lectures were spread on two different days and the conference started pretty early in the morning. I could not afford time to run.

Don’t get me wrong - I wished to run and truly believe in the flickers of the pure joy that runners get. I simply decided to stick to the conference as how rules are made. Much of it had to do with my original purpose of coming to Nanjing.

Being flexible remains the best recipe for joy. I told myself I would be happy as long as there’s a chance to sneak out for a quick walk during break.

That simple.

Nanjing

There’s a famous quote that says, “The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”

I definitely had a light-bulb moment when I read that quote, because I recently visited Nanjing. That I traveled to China was something of a happenstance, that I arrived there one day ahead of the conference, also a happenstance. It was only when I landed that I realized the congress had not officially started. What I do know for sure is that the day coincides with my daughter’s birthday. I don’t know if my words could ever make up for my mistakenly early flight. But I would be remiss if I did not try.

Much in the same way a student skips class, I found myself a good excuse to spend time hiking on the day of pre-congress session more for the youth nephrologists.

As I traipsed the mountain routes in Nanjing, I learned to appreciate an off-season travel opportunity. Part of the sense of feeling whole and complete came from the joy of exploring a new place, besides attending and giving lectures in a conference.