Parting

During my recent reading of Untangled by Lisa Damour, I learned about the stages of teenage girls pulling away from parents. The American Psychological Association-recognised thought leader and author gives a step-by-step analysis of teenagers’ departure from childhood.

For reasons a teenage girl can’t explain, there could have been an urge to hold us at a distance. As a father with a wry sense of humour, I know because my same old jokes suddenly turn corny and embarrassing, especially if I crack them in front of my daughter’s friends.

And not all parting with childhood is easy for parents to easily accept. Watching an adolescent daughter liberating herself is not for the fragile. I’m grateful that our going-to-be-fourteen daughter remains flexible and amicable to family get-togethers and one-on-one time with parents.

My daughter’s connection with family makes me feel as if we’ve won the lottery. That said, we don’t assume that our daughter will be enjoying the comfort of our home all the time. This week, she is travelling to Berlin on her school trip. We appreciate that she’d enjoy spending time with her classmates, and secretly wish for an occasional Locket photo or text message from abroad. While we could have hummed Paul Simon’s “Mother and Child Reunion” all week long, my wife and I chose to book a flight to Japan. That’s a pleasantly nostalgic trip for two of us, and not three.