Conversations

Finding the right way to communicate is not easy. If it were, we'd all live in a better world every minute of every day.

Many people don't know how communication works. Others will find the experience uncomfortable. A few will just roll their eyes. When you, like most of us, are boneheads in communication, settle for an easy-to-follow guidebook. I happened to come across The Communication Book written by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschäpper. It's a fast read, and consists of 44 important communication theories.

One important take-away lesson for me is the mantra: "Listen, don't talk; it's not about you."

When was the last time you hear from an acquaintance who has lost a family member? Be careful. Don't start talking about the time you lost a family member. This means you should resist talking about yourselves. You're trying to draw parallel and show that you understood how your friend feels, I know. In reality, as the radio broadcaster Celeste Headlee put it in a TED Talk, it's not the same. It's never the same. Don't share your own grief stories and personal anecdotes.

Remember, it's not about you.