Counts

I would be lying if I told you that I never pay attention to the whims and words of others. It is not that the external opinion is the gold standard of judging ourselves. We are simply human beings who tend to fall prey to the others' view. When the story of our hospital or unit appears in the press, I simply can't ignore it and then answer like Socrates who was once asked if he would worry about being called names, "Why? Do you think I should resent it if an ass had kicked me?"

You might argue that we should convince ourselves that we may be lovable even outside the halo of the praise of others. What's wrong with ignoring the comments from others? Aren't we all comfortable without the worry?

Not as long as you have gone through a whole life of education with emphasis on the grades assigned to you, and with your transcripts studded with those shameful Bs, instead of As.

Without a doubt, the thing that sticks in our mind about our student days has to be that moment we received the report cards. Everyone simply loves a number, a particular number assigned to you by others and reckoned as a good measure by most, if not all, people. Such scoring system haunts us ever since the day we entered the school, and continue to do so for the rest of our life. The popularity of citation index as a means to rank the scientists is just an example of our obsession with the numbers. After an academic researcher has published his works, the number of times that his publications have been cited would then be meticulously counted. Mind you, they only count those citations made by other scientists, but not by the researcher himself or herself. The message is clear and that makes tactical sense: you can't boost up your citation index by yourself and have to rely upon the external voices. Under the big name of bibliometrics, such counting exercise simply drives the university staff busy in their jostle for a better citation index.

Lest you think that I am immune from the obsession with all these numbers, I must confess here that I do time and again look at the number of visitors at my blog. Yes, you count.