Bryson

I can't imagine an author who writes better memoir than Bill Bryson.

I learnt so many and laughed so much when I read his story of being a newspaper boy at the age of eleven. That's tough, think about it, to deliver the afternoon papers six days a week, and then get up on Sundays before dawn and deliver the Sunday papers too. The reason, Bill Bryson writes, is to allow the regular morning paperboys enjoy a day off each week.

All this was fine - or at least fine enough - so long as Bill Bryson didn't mix up the route. Anyway, that isn't the worst. Paperboys were supposed to collect the subscription money. That, by itself, wasn't too risky when they were delivering papers to rich people. The real danger came from thousands of dogs in 1950s, inhabiting every property - big dogs, grumpy dogs, stupid dogs, tiny nippy irritating little dogs, dogs that wanted to smell you, dogs that barked at everything that moved. And then there was Dewey, a black Labrador which eventually bit him hard. That was a big bite that never earned Bill Bryson an apology. To that end, he decided to stick a secret booger in that family's paper every day.

Whatever topic Bryson writes, he recounts his story in such a funny and detailed manner that is going to give you behind-the-scenes fact of a crazy kid. And he has a perfect memory, say, to recollect how his father spent at least thirty minutes to prepare the legendary snacks at night. That means Ritz crackers, a large jar of mustard, wheat germ, radishes, ten Hydrox cookies, an enormous bowl of chocolate ice cream, several slices of luncheon meat, freshly washed lettuce, Cheez Whiz, peanut butter, peanut brittle, a hard-boiled egg or two, a small bowl of nuts, watermelon in season, possibly a banana. The list is comprehensive. It really is.

Why Bryson can remember so many details is a bit of puzzle. I now know that I'd better jot down everything in case I'm going to follow the footsteps of Bill Bryson. And so here it goes - for the ingredients my daughter and her buddy used for homemade slime today - baking soda, school glue, cornstarch, contact lens solution, watercolour paint.