Winner

Philip Pullman once said, "All we need is the word 'Once...' and we're off." He is referring to the appeal of classics such as "Snow White", "Cinderella" and many Grimm tales.

All right. Everyone take a seat. Now I'm going to tell a story, not from the Brother Grimm. That's my daughter's favorite recently, and it comes from an amusing author in Japan.

Once there was a family of sweet potatoes, and for years this family had lived with routines underneath the ground. My daughter noticed this, and smiled when she found out the sweet potatoes brushed the teeth every morning, went to potty, got hungry now and then, just like her. They hid everything underground, and no one would dare to steal anything from there.

But it wasn't long before the sweet potato family felt a thump. Or earthquake?

"Oh, no," the daddy sweet potato said, "is it a giant there?" Frightened, he slammed the door shut at once and ran back to gather everyone at the living room.

"Oh, papa, that's not a giant. I saw many children above there. Wait, wait! They're knocking at the door."

The children kept on knocking and called, "Come, we found sweet potatoes. Let's pull and get them out."

The sweet potatoes heard a loud crack from above. "Oh, for goodness' sake! Let's line up and prepare for the tug-of-war." Not long afterwards the sweet potatoes felt the pulling force from boys and girls above.

"Heave-ho, heave-ho!"

When the sweet potatoes nearly gave way to the children, I heard my daughter chanting heave-ho together. My daughter watched anxiously for a minute or two, and really wanted to lend a helping hand. But it's too late. The sweet potatoes were losing the game. And on they rolled as though drawn by a giant, along the rope, up the stairs, until suddenly - hop! All the sweet potatoes were pulled out.

Well, what else did you expect? The sweet potatoes ended up being eaten. "Nothing tastes as good as baked sweet potatoes," the children were busy licking out and guzzling every bit of their harvest.

"Someone's been eating my leg."
"There's a bite out of my back - look!"
"And mine."
"And mine."

Everyone could see that the children were enjoying the sweet potato feast. My daughter wasn't, though; she felt sad about the sweet potatoes.

All gone, every one of them. Not really. Surely it couldn't be that simple? Can you hear the sound? Funny sound really.

Boooom. Booooooooooooom. Booooooooooooooooooooom. My daughter pinched her nose. She almost laughed her head off when the boys and girls could not stop farting. They were farting as often as dogs are panting after running for miles.

Now, who is the winner? Round one to the sweet potatoes, I thought.