Jefferson Fisher, the American trial lawyer who gained millions of followers online for his videos teaching on communication, shares tried-and-true tips on his new book The Next Conversation.
This is a book of handling conflicts. If you wish to remember just one lesson from his book, it would be the one about "Never win an argument." I learned this rule the hard way, after joining a debate session in a recent scientific meeting.
Think of a heated competition that divide the world into "right' and "wrong," "winner" and "loser." After the back-and-forth dialogue, the first question some asks the next morning is always, "Who won?" Or, in my case, the final answer to the debate question. We run into the rabbit hole: the loss of meaningful connection, the failure of seeing other's point of view, and often, the short-lived pride but long-lasting damage to the friendship.
If that's what we want to gain from debate, then I'm asking to quit. Winning an argument often loses you more. Not my cup of tea.
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