Connectedness

When I first read Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, the daughter I had in mind is a toddler and myself a dad with strong biceps to carry daughter around. I picked up the book again this week. My daughter has grown up a lot since the last read. The fact is, I haven't been any stronger as a dad – and chances are I am simply older.

In part, I believe, this is because men spend most of our time working for someone else, and don't carve out time slots for our kids when we come home. This is what I did this week: I worked overnight in the hospital on Monday and returned home late evening on Tuesday, half asleep after dinner.

The author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, a paediatrician and mother of four children, told a story of her husband who brought their kids to watch the northern lights at 1:30 in the morning. They shivered as brilliant and red corrugated sheets of northern lights streaked through the night. She can't remember what grades their children were in that year, let alone what they faced during the next school day after four-hour sleep, maybe five.

She doesn't remember because it didn't matter. What matters is that all four of their kids remember their father's enthusiasm and connectedness. So what did I learn?

A lot. There's no better ways of being a father than spending time with the child. The key isn't going to extraordinary places. Parent connectedness is as simple as connecting with my daughter - tune in to her, listen to her, and play with her. Oh yes, one-on-one time without looking at my smartphone or answering emails. That dream came true this Thursday when I returned home after work and assembled a big box of Lego bricks with my daughter. We were occupied with our project till midnight.