Cousin

Mention number two to the second-born, and they're quick to grumble.

Oh, look how enthusiastic the parents are with the first child - and then the second. When I polled some parents about the number of snapshots for their first and second children, the most common answer I got was "huge." Huge difference, they said, between the first (volumes) and the second (a few).

I don't have to bother with shortchanging mine, because my daughter is a single child.

That's not to say that a single child is the happiest one on this planet. Happiness also stems from satisfying relationship, from sharing with others, from looking after each other. In fact, to this day I remember the way my daughter answered other children who asked her how many siblings she has. "I don't have brother or sister. But I have a cousin." For that, she says with pride. My daugher and her cousin make good companions. I brought my daughter and her cousin to stay in the hotel at Discovery Bay this week. I've lost count of the number of times we've been there. That in itself isn't important. What counts to me is that every visit brings a lot of pleasure to us. The more they grow up and the more their friendship blossoms, the better I appreciate the words of the writer Marion Garretty: A cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.

Cousin togetherness is something close, but probably less close than sibling to pose the problem of rivalry. For better or worse - better, I suspect - that's the encouragement that single-child parents need.