Credibility

Jessica Chen is the kind of person you read about accolades like Emmy Award winner. She is a globally recognised speaker on communication skills.

With Asian upbringing and traditional quiet culture, Jessica shared her childhood story of building a Lego set with her younger brother Eric. Picture two kids happily drawn to the colourful bricks. The two of them were simply fascinated by the Christmas gift, but thirty minutes in, they hit trouble with the pieces. 

"I think this piece goes here, but Eric said it goes the other way. Mum, can you help us?"

Jessica's mum quickly answered, "I am not really sure, but Eric, listen to whatever your older sister says."

That's simply how hierarchy works. High power-distance culture describes the inclination for a junior person to follow higher-ranking person. For those of us who were raised with high power-distance culture, we may unconsciously fall victim to authority bias and think whoever is older is always right. Jessica's lighthearted story has stuck with me, because I happened to have had similar experience with my ten-year-old daughter. In fact, we were getting stuck with building the Lego set, like what Eric and Jessica were struggling then.   

Interesting as this was, I had hopes of getting the right way to sort out the pieces. And so I kept trying. 

My daughter shook her head. "I don't think this is the way. Let me go and find mum."

This, frankly, was a remarkable answer. The voice in my head was telling me that respect was not just something that happens because you're older. It is something that is earned from the things we do and show. My wife really deserves much more credit than me in solving difficult problems. The natural instinct for my daughter to find my wife is the proof of her credibility and reputation. And really, my wife deserves much more respect than me.