Blush

The upsides of the blush or guilt have long been observed. Imagine the following question chosen by Dacher Keltner, a psychologist with special interest in positive emotions, when he had to choose his mate by asking a single question at a speed-dating event.

"What was your last embarrassing experience?"

It turned out that Keltner chose this question to watch for blushing, lip-presses, and averted eyes - all of them being surrogates of his mate's respect of others. Embarrassment reveals how much the individual cares about the rules that bind us to one another, he writes.

In case I'm being asked Keltner's question, my answer will definitely be my recent experience in Nara.

Would you be surprised if I told you that feeding deer around Nara-kōen isn't that much fun? Maybe not, when you consider the pushy table manners of those hungry animals. If you'd like to buy some deer crackers, please be forewarned that deer in Nara are second only to Jerry Mouse as a champion for pushing your buttons. They roam the park, and literally ambush anyone carrying deer crackers. But then it's often the poor little kid who is carrying crackers, and the kid could hardly compete with deer in terms of running.

This hungry deer had yummy cracker. That little deer had none. And this little boy cried wee, wee, all the way home.

Things got a lot more topsy-turvy once the number of deer exceeded that of the crackers. The very thought of deer kidnapping Jasmine's cousin set my heart aflutter. So when the poor boy cried louder, I began to get a little edgy. Okay, I panicked and followed my instincts, shouting and kicking at the deer.

Within minutes, my daughter froze, sucked in her breath, and broke into tears.

Shrieking with pain, guilt written all over her face, Jasmine exclaimed, "Dad, stop it. Stop it. That would hurt the little animals. You should be kind to everyone."

I looked at my daughter as long as I can without blush, and then hugged her, as if I'd made the silliest mistake. And it was.